Faux Pas

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Pronunciation: \ˈfō-ˌpä, fō-ˈ\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural faux pas \-ˌpä(z), -ˈpä(z)\

Etymology: French, literally, false step

Date: 1676

: blunder; especially : a social blunder

(from the Merriam-Webster Online)

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I came to India knowing that I would, without a doubt, commit the ever-embarrassing faux pas many times before returning to the States. And indeed I already have an impressive list (a continuing list, mind you).

So yesterday, Kamini, a sweet/quiet girl in the Sri Sai level one class, was shaking and feverish because the teacher had hit her during our class time (I wasn’t there to see it, but that upsets me so much). I felt so bad when I found out right before story time, so I decided to invite Kamini to sit in my lap as I read the story. My thinking was, hey, the kids at the other school absolutely LOVE it when they get to sit on our laps (to the point that they go berserk and physically fight over it), so what a reward it will be for Kamini to sit on my lap and feel special! Yay! Imagine my surprise when she shook her head and rejected my offer of kindness. I thought she was just being shy so I insisted, and she awkwardly came over and sat on the smallest patch of knee possible. The rest of the class started laughing so hard. I was confused, but caught on that lap-sitting is not considered proper at Sri Sai Nagar School…so I remedied the situation by having Kamini sit next to me instead, so she could still feel special as appointed page-turner of the day. We all laughed it off.

Another day (again at Sri Sai) two kids, Hamsa and Mallesh, got into a fight and Mallesh hit Hamsa, causing her to cry. I tried to remedy the situation using the same method as the Chapel Hill Early School teachers – I told Mallesh to say sorry to Hamsa, and then I told Hamsa to say sorry to Mallesh. Then I told them to hug. Oops. In retrospect, I should have known better, but anyway the whole class burst out laughing and Mallesh and Hamsa made “ew” faces (Mallesh seemed more mortified than Hamsa). Everyone found it really funny, including me. I ended up just making the shake hands and do the dost (friend) thumb action. Wow I must seem like an overly-physical weird person at Sri Sai School huh? Silly American.

I’ve probably unconsciously committed many more faux pas. I know I’ve shaken hands using my left hand many times (the left hand is considered the dirty hand by some) but I’ve gotten better at using my right hand now. The other DukeEngage students have  had their own fair share of similar experiences. For example, one group was teaching directions, and told the children to run in circles around one child. The children got really freaked out because that’s what you’d normally do at a wake (people circle the dead body). We also have to be wary of giving the children shoes because giving someone shoes could be symbolic of something like giving someone “the boot” (basically, it could be seen as rude). Also, at the sitar concert today (wonderful experience, btw) a lot of people were chewing gum, which is considered inappropriate.

Have you heard of the Nacerima tribe? They’re a pretty crazy bunch, I hear. You should definitely check out this article about them: https://www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html

I read this article for Translating the Culture Shock (a really cool Writing 20 course). It must be so weird for people on the outside viewing us Americans (as this article so intelligently shows). I can only imagine what’s going through the heads of all those kiddies.